Getting back together then was my way of either falling back in love or buying myself the time I needed to ready myself. Essentially, I knew that I was recommitting to him because I couldn’t commit to myself. Recommitting myself to him came a place of weakness, of having no other options, or not making myself available to other options. It starts with allowing the letdown to be alright. It starts with the cycle of recommitting yourself to someone who has let you down. "What I learned from my on-again, off-again relationship was that a life of smallness, a love of smallness, and a smaller you starts with breaking up and making up. For anyone who is having a lot of strife in their relationship, I would strongly consider a break." It gave us the opportunity to gain clarity about what we wanted, and we are stronger because of it. I say that the breakup was the best thing that could have ever happened to us. Today, we have an incredible friendship, and our relationship is stronger than ever. By October, I realized that I was ready to be in a relationship again. We slowly began rebuilding our friendship. In August, I allowed him to take me on a date. ![]() In July, my ex reached out to me, but I was not really trying to hear anything he had to say. Most importantly, I became very clear about who I was and the partner I wanted to be with in the future. I started doing the things I put on the back burner during the relationship. But after a few weeks of wallowing, I prayed and made a decision to focus on myself. Like, crying every night and not thinking that I would be able to survive without the relationship. In case you're considering it, here are just a few things that can happen when a couple takes a break. But as you can see from the others, couples really can bounce back after breaks. Ross and Rachel may have given us false hope.Ī lot of these stories are in line with the idea that couples on breaks are really better broken up. Another study in Personal Relationshipsfound that relationships were lower-quality after couples spent time apart. One study in the Journal of Marriage and Familyfound that only a third of couples who got back together after breaking up stayed together. This is just a small sample, though, so it might help to look at data. To find out which of these scenarios seems most common and which others might occur, I asked people what happened when they took breaks from relationships. ![]() ![]() While some couples realize down the road that their breaks should've been breakups, others recover from them and go on to enjoy happy, healthy relationships. As Chris Armstrong, a dating and relationships coach tells Bustle, breaks in relationships are usually about one of two things: someone needs to reflect internally on things like commitment or insecurity issues, or someone needs to reflect externally and figure out whether the relationship is right. But there's a third option that's rarely granted any thought: taking a break. When couples hit a roadblock, they usually weigh the pros and cons of staying together and breaking up.
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